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Sometime in March- I tell Rob that he either passes classes and/or finds a doctor, or he will have to support himself/move out after the semester.
April 24th- My chorus got 2nd place at the regional competition. Yay!
April 25th- I turned 27. Yeesh.
April 26th- I left for New Bedford, MA. HUGE sampling project for work- lots of subcontractors, other EPA contractors, etc. More than 30 people working to collect samples, decon equipment, classify soils, and ship/sort/log samples from over 40 properties. Monday through Friday, and staying over Friday night- working a couple hours, or just driving home on Saturday. So, 6 days a week. for six weeks. 'Fortunately' I was only there for the first 5.
I discovered that while I don't particularly get along with people in MY office, there are some REALLY awesome people in other offices. Including two sci-fiers! So that was really cool.
I made hella money. Overtime+per diem. Paid off a credit card, yay!
May 31- Mom and I went on vacation- an archeology field school on one of the Shoals islands on the southern ME border. It was fun, we learned a lot, and Mom found an arrowhead!! We were excavating in the area of a fishing community circa 1820. The biggest downside was that we could only shower twice the entire week- and we were spending all day sweating in the sun, playing in the dirt. Yuck.
Sometime in late May- Rob found out/I found out that he did not pass any classes. Cue Rob being the only person at all surprised. I give Rob 3 weeks to find a job and a doctor- not neccessarily 3 weeks to start working and start seeing a doctor, but to FIND a job and FIND a doctor/set up an appointment. If he doesn't, he will no longer be living with me. I can't financially or morally deal with it.
June 7- Return from Maine. Go back to work on the 8th.
June 8th to June 17th- work like crazy. No work on the weekends, but the work week is super busy, with lots going on- I've got sites that appeared on my desk while I was gone, and hey, guesswhat, you're going sampling next week...fun. Rob has not made progress on the goals.
June 12- Rob bails on my nephews bday party, and his sisters bday party- I go to both anyways. His family and I have a long discussion over the issues, and what we can do. His parents
June 13- I paint the hallway, do all the backed up laundry, and get things DONE. Rob doesn't help. I offer pizza for dinner. Rob begrudginly calls it in, and then refuses to walk with me to pick it up. Pizza shop? Is only 1 block away. I get frustrated. Rob says that me offering pizza, and then expecting him to do anything to get it is unfair. I point out a few things- how long I've been supporting him, how little he's accomplished, how much I've done around the house, how I was trying to be NICE to him DESPITE the fact he hadn't lifted a finger all day. He (apparently) begins to realize how rude and self-centered he's been, and how much work I've had to do to compensate/not kill him. He promises to get better. Rob spends more time with me/less time at his PC when I'm home during the following week.
June 18- I have the day off. I remind Rob throughout the day to call doctors. I even say that if he sets an appointment, he can have an extra week to find work. He picks up the phone at 4pm...on a Friday. I stop him, since he was going to be leaving the house phone number for the doctors, and we talk.
I ask him what he has accomplished in the past week...past month...past 6 months...past year...past two years...Nothing, really. And then I had to think for a long while on how to phrase something...so that I could actually say it, and so it wouldn't start a fight/bad things. I finally got around to saying something that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to say...'Rob, I love you, but I think it would be better if you stayed with your parents for a while'.
So, on Sunday, June 20, Rob packed up some clothes and his computer, and we drove to his folks house. Had dinner with them, and then I went home...alone. I spent the next few nights crying myself to sleep, and taking Benadryl to actually be able to sleep. It sucked. Sonya (good freind) came over Monday night to keep me company.

So...Rob and I are still together...and my place is still 'home'. I'm trying to think of it as rehab- he's staying with his folks to break the cycle. He knows his parent's aren't going to be as lenient as I was- they're home more to enforce it, and they don't have the monetary constraints I do. They want him to get better as much as I do. We're all supporting each other.
Rob comes home for a little each weekend, and I try to visit him at this folks place every now and then. I'm getting more used to being home alone, and the cats are slowly getting used to the same. Rob has called a recommended clinic/office, and is waiting for an appointment/ 'care coordinator' to call him back. It will most likely be at least a couple months until Rob can come home for good.

And if you're wondering- I didn't ask him to move out because I don't want him to- regardless of his illness, I still love him, and I want him to get better- I don't think breaking up would be good for either of us.

...Yeah, I guess that's all the big stuff.

Well, you know how I feel

Date: 2010-07-03 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nightskyre.livejournal.com
But good for you. You need to look out for yourself. I'm commenting really just so you know we're here to support you if there's anything we can do.

Date: 2010-07-03 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etherial.livejournal.com
I'm no expert on anyone involved, but it sounds like a reasonable plan. I hope it works.

Date: 2010-07-04 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellishdream.livejournal.com
*hugs*
You want what's best for you (plural you) as a couple.
That takes a lot of strength.

Date: 2010-07-05 03:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloud2sunshine.livejournal.com
Babe, you know Im here for you, even being as far away as I am, I am just a phone call away. I am glad you are standing up for yourself and for Rob when he can't do it for himself. that takes guts. I hope things get better.

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